Pearl read the letter. He had found some trouble and now had a new lover to call his own. Pearl signed and tucked the letter in her pocket. Somehow well it always happened this way. She remeber long ago an old fortune gypsy telling her she had to not worry about love so much that she was to other things much more important. that she was on a chosen path of destiny. The chosen path chose her rther than pearl chosing it. She would gladly not have those dreams and hunches and queasy feelings that always plagued her. without any real guidance perl would have to fumble through her heritage gypsy magic. But pearl knew never to meddle with love spells. Yet she was tempted this time. No she thought, no, he has waht he has, and I must sail a little further ahead. she was not lacking for male interest. Waiting for this one would be foolish. But she knew some sort of a conecion was timeless, even if temporary. Peal gazed at the horizon. A nice swim, a glass of wine, and some old fashioned fire gazing was in order. Pealr soon shed the apron that held the letter. It slipped out of thepocket and drifted in the wind behind her. was but note to her past.. she wistled as she neared the pond ready to swim. the sun beat down upon her.....................

Pearl's winter was filled with a bit of heartache. A handsome Gypsy troused into her life giving her hope that a rogue could love her. All of Pearls fears held her back from simply sharing her heart. The gypsy man was caught in her wild whirldwind of emotion. Nothing a wandering man could handle for very long. Pearls heart ached each night that she realized her love letters would go unanswered. She simply accepted that she too had broken anothers heart through no intention of her own. Soon her wagon would roll foward to a place where only gypsy magick would happen. there she would heal her heart and look to the future. soon she would have a shop in the heart of the town selling her wares, a young wandering musician would watch the shop as she traveled. All but her little heartache was well. She couldn't get that gypsy man out of her mind, a piece of her held onto the thouhgt of a someday, she felt he held a bit of that hope too. Though she doubted he did. later in the week a letter came for Pearl. a masculine scrawl with a hint of rogue.......

Each day Pearl trudged foward keeping a manor on gypsy rations was not easy. And cold weather did nothing for the marketplace or a day at the fair. Her children would always be safe thanks to their father. He gave Pearl enough to barely get by. Each coin he gave was a reminder of how unfair her life had become. she had never dreamed of a large home or fancy clothing. Just a nice warm snug house with plenty of food to feed her children. While the manor possesed beauty and elegance, it lacked funtion. Whole rooms were never used, yet pearl was expected to keep them clean. the only "servants" she had to help were poor relatives in need of a room. Soon they all left for brighter horizons. Pearls lovers were scattered about here and there. She longed for that sweet life she thought she had. The one where a man cared for the woman he was with. Wanted to be near her, protect and love her. Show genuine concern for her wellbeing." A fantasy nothing more......" she muttered to herself. It was times like these that Pearl knew to only do one thing. Become lost in music and allow her soul to breath. the spring planting would soon begin. This year food was important, the more grown at home ment the less bought at the market, and the manor could sustain itself once more. Pearl dragged out her guitar, to slowly strum a meloncoly tune she wrote. she was so clumsy with this yet somehow it helped easy the tightening in her chest and the heaviness on her mind.

Those Days that Pearls visited with their father and stayed with him were some eof the loneliest days she had. Before having her family she never really knew the closeness she was missing. She treasured her children and her safety in being vulnerable with them. Alone she had her thoughts of her past and the results of all those little heart aches was an impermiable shell that no one could penetrate. Inside she ached outwardly she pushed away attention never trusting the motives of the people around her. Accepting her fate of being alone without a mate, accepting the loneliness and regretting the cosequences of fate that led to an unhealaed heart. Even the hope of the prince charming forever placed upon the storybook shelf. Disollusioned and tormented she would lay in bed and cry gripping for the sun to rise.

Pearl embraced her children they spent the rest of the day busing with the endless chores of the manor. Late into the evening pearl beaded scarves and frocks for the season of festivals yet to come. It was another lonely night to quiet in the manor. Alone with her thoughts from voices in her shadowy past that she tried to forget. The smell of her calming steeping and a cool breeze thrust her back to being just thirteen.......On a night of cool breezes a young Pearl wandered away from the restrictive farm house of her father. A meat and potatoes man with little time for play, her mother an indentured gypsy with to much magic to be sane. Pearl loved her secret nightly walks, none of the bickering and broken dreams to hear about in the night air. This time she wandered down the road all the way in to town past the village and near the tavern. It was filled with noise and excitement. Nothing like the drudgery of thet farm. pearl tip toed to the window just to take a peak. From behind her she felt a cool breeze and a dark figure shadowing her. " Spying are we gypsy girl?" asked the man. He was of his early 20s dressed a bit too frilly and he had a very dark aura. "No sir I'll be going home now, just seeing what hte excitement was." Pearl walked abit past him. " Oh nothing but drunk men looking for young women looking for coin. Find any customers Gypsy girl?" said the young man. "NO sir I wasn't looking for that at all sir. I'll be going now." she began to walk on the road. The young man followed and walked backwards in front of her. "I've seen you ya know, in the market, selling vegtables from that ratty old farm. Setting up with that crazy old gypsy woman." his words were stinging and his tone was pure condesention. It made young earl shrink. That is my mother sir and my father's farm." she held back the tears but walked faster. he kept pace beside her." Some mother dressing you in those revealing rags just to sell vegtables!" " They are not rags! They were made by family in ancient custom. " Pearl was angry with tears and was now stopped with her fists clenched. "Ancient Custom of cleavage?!! Ha more like showing off a plump girls melons" he said nastily. He reached out his hand to grab her breast. She waited silently when he reached foward she swung her fist upward into his chin. his teeth knocked together he was starteled she ran past him as fast as she could he was right behind her and grbbed her by the hair. She couldn't move. He got into her face " Like I would touch something as filthy as you!" He dragged her back to the tavern....The tavern door swung open to a loud smoky room smelling of stale food and unwashed men. they were all staring at Pearl. " Gentlemen I have here a young gypsy girl of well endowment. For just a few coins she will gladly let you touch her ample body. Loud cheers came from the crowd. coins flew into the air andthen into the young mans purse as the youg gypsy girl was handled roughly over and over as he laughed and drank . Eventually through tears she held her head high and the finely dress young man passed out from his drunkeness. and fell over onto the floor. In the distration Pearl escaped the tavern and ran home in tears. She tried bathing several times that night to get the smell and feeling of filth off of her. She climbed into her bed and wept. Not wanting to tell her unforgiving parents of her fate.... tears rolled down Pearls face as she sewed the final bead into a skirt. A small hand wiped away the tears. "Why are you crying mommy?" Pearl hugged her youngest daughter and said "Nothing important now, it's all over now." She held tight to the child and walked her back to her bed.